The Abyss Gazes Also

Well, I’m back. Sorry to disappoint. This is the second edition of The Weekly Flippo. Before you proceed, I warn you:



Things Are Only Going To Get More Awesome From Here.




My time with my Los Angeles internship is drawing to a close. Its bittersweet (54% bitter, 45% sweet, and 1% sodium citrate to be exact). Sure, I miss Mom, Dad, my Playstation 2, and my sister, but how many times do you get to be in L.A.? I’ve been told by several of my professors that this trip would help me "find myself." Of course, I still have no idea what that means. If anything, I think this trip just confirmed my theory that I was never really lost to begin with, which is always a good feeling.

Here are some things I’ve noticed about Los Angeles (in no particular order):

*There are two different ways to speak in L.A. They are: (1) mumbling and (2) shouting.

*Traffic is not that bad... unless you are going somewhere specific.

*The whole no sweet tea thing... what the hell?!

*The Santa Monica pier is pretty amazing. You can ride a Ferris wheel... on a pier, dude!

*I don’t know who Carl’s Jr. is, but I have a suspicion he is kissing cousins with Hardee’s.

* L.A. people LOVE cupcakes. Simply love the damn things. I don’t know why that is, but every couple of days Double Feature made me run out to a place called Sprinkles and get a dozen for the office.

*I have not met or even seen one slacker anywhere in this town. Everyone is working hard- very hard- toward something.

*That rat from Ratatouille is now in rehab (and, I’m glad to report, is doing good!)

*Despite its name, a trip to In-N-Out will never be a quick one.

*Also, after said trip, you will immediately have to go to the bathroom. Despite whatever your diet may have consisted of that day, you WILL have to go (folks, I never said I was going to keep it classy).

Having said that these are my last days in L.A., that also means that soon I will set out to drive back to Chattanooga, Tennessee. I’m excited because Dad is flying out and is driving back with me. I have no idea what adventures we’ll get into, but, trust me, there will be adventures. Come back next week for a complete write-up of the trip home. I can’t say it if it will be a good entry or not, but I can confirm right now that you will not ask for your money back.

For my first order of non-L.A. business, I would like to bring your attention to a short film my friend John Summerour made last year. Its called Chickamauga and is "inspired by the events at Tri-State Crematory in Noble, Ga." I served as production assistant for the shoot and, I have to say, being on the set was a surreal experience and is something I will never forget. I was the same age as the main character when these events made national news.

As for the film, I believe it turned out spectacular. It is akin to Gus Van Sant on his better days (think Paranoid Park and not that Psycho remake). The imdb for it is http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1258223/ and the film itself can be found at http://www.vimeo.com/955252. It has recently been accepted to the Rome International film festival. I encourage you to check it out!

Now to the third order of business. I would like to bring your attention to a movie that is the polar opposite of Chickamauga. In fact, I have not thought about it since my friend Matt Brandenburgh and I watched it late one night our freshmen year, but somehow I remembered it for this entry. It is called Torque, and it is awful. Really awful. Ass-numbingly awful. Watching this flick is like getting an ice cream headache for 84 minutes. Its like drinking a vinegar milkshake. Would you like proof? Check this out: http://youtube.com/watch?v=PPWoz7WTmjU .

Also, I need to do a special shout out to my buddy Ellis Liddell. He is turning 21 on July 31st and I think that’s reason enough to celebrate. Now, if you don’t know this man, then it’s a shame. He is a legend, a myth. In his honor, I have taken twenty-one Chuck Norris jokes and have replaced the name with his.

1. If Ellis has five dollars, and you have five dollars, Ellis has more money.

2. Apple pays Ellis ninety-nine cents every time Ellis listens to a song.

3. Ellis can kill two stones with one bird.

4. Ellis destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

5. Ellis can slam a revolving door.

6. Ellis can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

7. Ellis does not get frostbite. Ellis bites frost.

8. Outer space exists because it is scared to be on the same planet as Ellis.

9. Ellis can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.

10. Ellis counted to infinity... twice.

11. Ellis is the reason Waldo is hiding.

12. Ellis is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

13. Ellis doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

14. There is no "ctrl" button on Ellis’s computer. Ellis is always in control.

15. Ellis is a stunt double for Optimus Prime.

16. Ellis understands the ending to 2001: A Space Odyssey

17. Ellis beat the sun in a staring contest.

18. Ellis CAN lick his elbow.

19. Ellis puts the FUN in funeral.

20. Ellis can strike a match on a bar of soap.

21. Ellis’s smile once brought a puppy back to life.

And one to grow on...

22. When Ellis picks his nose, he really does find gold.

Moving on to my fifth order of business... The other day I was walking back from the dining hall, and I saw a squirrel digging through a trash can. After a moment of digging, he pulled out a french fry and ate it. Now I don’t know why, but I thought a squirrel eating a french fry was the funniest damn thing I had ever seen in my life. I can’t explain it, but I laughed for a good five minutes and stood there until he finished it. For some reason, I don’t think an onion ring would have been as funny.

Okay, as always ("always" meaning "both times"), here are some youtube videos I’m really digging this week.

1. The Von Blondies performing "C’mon, c’mon" on Letterman
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Px6zUe3y7c8&feature=related

2. A different song by that Chocolate Rain guy
http://youtube.com/watch?v=9mSKBgvHdoE&feature=user

3. Watchmen trailer (awesome)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=R3orQKBxiEg

4. Music video for The Killers’ "Read My Mind"
http://youtube.com/watch?v=3Oec8RuwVVs

5. A Coca-Cola commercial featuring Jack White
http://youtube.com/watch?v=vKGw_KYH63k

Okay, that’s all from Flippo for The Weekly Flippo this week. Come back next week as I talk about the trip home and whatever else crosses (or runs parallel to) my mind.

Flippo