A City Wall, The World Unseen

Okay, Flip-philes, I’m back to deliver another stellar (if slightly belated) installment of the Weekly Flippo. If you’re allergic to things that are awesome, I recommend you steer clear of this blog, take two tablespoons of John Mayer, and call me in the morning.

My last day at Double Feature was... fun (“Uh oh! An ellipsis! This can’t be good!”). Since one of the receptionists was out, the company’s regular runner took her position, and I took his. All was well, until I was asked to drive my boss’s Mercedes Benz to the gas station. Now, that may not seem like great fodder for an anecdote, but I have to say, that driving this damn car was the most terrifying experience of my life. This is the sort of guy who can’t stand a cold lunch, much less a scratch on his car. I’m sure that there is a guillotine out back just for the interns.

Anyway, I’m glad to say I pulled it off and am alive to write this blog, which also means that I survived the trip back as well. Dad was excited about the trip back. He said that he was going on a “Calification,” which is a word he came up with by taking “California” and combining it with “vacation.” Get it? Well, I suppose its better than “Vacafornia.” I don’t know what a “Vacafornia” is, but I sure as hell don’t want one.

Coming through New Mexico, our trusty Buick recorded temperatures that topped out at 114 degrees (looking back, jeans were a poor choice). As soon as we hit Oklahoma, I felt we were attempting the land speed record. The last day we went from Oklahoma City back to Chattanooga, arriving home at just minutes till midnight. It was like a Steinbeck novel on fast forward.

Though I’m going to miss the hell out of L.A., I am not going to miss the UCLA apartment where I was staying. The bachelor lifestyle was causing that place to smell funky, like old Chinese food and soured milk. I don’t know what the reason for this is (though I was starting to suspect the old Chinese food and soured milk), but I think a little bit of Peach State air did me some good.

Also, now that is it safe to say, I might have had the weirdest roommate known to man. Now, I know that’s a tall order. There are plenty of oddballs out there and I’m sure most of them have found people to split the rent. That being said, this guy was something special. He asked me to wake him up one day by pouring water on his face. Okay, okay. Maybe I’m overreacting. Its not like he was an amateur taxidermist or that he collected rainwater. But still...

Here are some things I’ve discovered about yours truly while in L.A.

*I sunburn a little too easily. If there’s an Easy-Bake Oven in the room, I should at least bust out the SPF 30.

*I can maneuver the Buick down the 405 without any problems, but L.A. parking lots give me trouble. You try parking your car inside a matchbox and then we’ll talk!

*Its been eight years, but I still have Smash Mouth’s “All Star” down pat, dammit! Remember that “we could all use a little change” part? Proust himself never expressed a concept so beautifully.

*Speaking of which, I have a lovely singing voice.

*I can usually tell when people have absolutely no idea what they are talking about. Since I usually don’t, I’ve come to learn when someone is speaking my language.

*I want to hate Hootie and the Blowfish, but, dammit... I just can’t do it.

*One day I shared an elevator with Gene Simmons, and I learned that we had absolutely nothing in common (except that whole 10,000 women thing).

Also, in other news, my friend Hadjii Hand is currently writing, directing, and starring in Somebodies, BET’s first scripted program. I believe they are currently shooting their seventh or eighth episode in Athens, Georgia right now. The series is based off his feature that went to Sundance a couple of years ago, and I wish him the best. You can read my interview with Hadjii at http://www.athensexchange.com/articles/524/?search=Chris%20Flippo . You can also see a short promo for his book at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lz2WbwRZDR0

For the third straight week in a row (my personal best), I have assembled some youtube clips I’ve really enjoyed lately.

1. Beck’s music video for “Girl” off the Guero album. Pay special attention to the lyrics. The Mad-style fold-ins are a clue to how you should interpret them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13iLkTrDlbI

2. I don’t know if you’re a fan of Coldplay or not (I am). Either way, I think you’ll enjoy this video for their song “Trouble.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LolJmyDjRsQ

3. The Flight of the Conchords are billed as “formerly New Zealand’s fourth most popular guitar-based digi-bongo acapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo.” I can’t think of any introduction better than that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLEK0UZH4cs

4. My friend Ben Greene’s music video for Blue Oyster Cult’s “Burnin For You.” This video has more wardrobe changes than a Cher concert. I have no idea why I hang out with these guys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbA0Qk3kVZU

5. Oh, and while we’re on the subject, here is a thirty-second short by Ben at my apartment. Where else are you going to see a man killed with Skittles?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKyqsgsuu2w

And with that, I conclude this week’s Weekly Flippo. Come back next week as I give you more of the same senselessness, just re-gifted with a prettier bow.

xoxo

Flippo

The Abyss Gazes Also

Well, I’m back. Sorry to disappoint. This is the second edition of The Weekly Flippo. Before you proceed, I warn you:



Things Are Only Going To Get More Awesome From Here.




My time with my Los Angeles internship is drawing to a close. Its bittersweet (54% bitter, 45% sweet, and 1% sodium citrate to be exact). Sure, I miss Mom, Dad, my Playstation 2, and my sister, but how many times do you get to be in L.A.? I’ve been told by several of my professors that this trip would help me "find myself." Of course, I still have no idea what that means. If anything, I think this trip just confirmed my theory that I was never really lost to begin with, which is always a good feeling.

Here are some things I’ve noticed about Los Angeles (in no particular order):

*There are two different ways to speak in L.A. They are: (1) mumbling and (2) shouting.

*Traffic is not that bad... unless you are going somewhere specific.

*The whole no sweet tea thing... what the hell?!

*The Santa Monica pier is pretty amazing. You can ride a Ferris wheel... on a pier, dude!

*I don’t know who Carl’s Jr. is, but I have a suspicion he is kissing cousins with Hardee’s.

* L.A. people LOVE cupcakes. Simply love the damn things. I don’t know why that is, but every couple of days Double Feature made me run out to a place called Sprinkles and get a dozen for the office.

*I have not met or even seen one slacker anywhere in this town. Everyone is working hard- very hard- toward something.

*That rat from Ratatouille is now in rehab (and, I’m glad to report, is doing good!)

*Despite its name, a trip to In-N-Out will never be a quick one.

*Also, after said trip, you will immediately have to go to the bathroom. Despite whatever your diet may have consisted of that day, you WILL have to go (folks, I never said I was going to keep it classy).

Having said that these are my last days in L.A., that also means that soon I will set out to drive back to Chattanooga, Tennessee. I’m excited because Dad is flying out and is driving back with me. I have no idea what adventures we’ll get into, but, trust me, there will be adventures. Come back next week for a complete write-up of the trip home. I can’t say it if it will be a good entry or not, but I can confirm right now that you will not ask for your money back.

For my first order of non-L.A. business, I would like to bring your attention to a short film my friend John Summerour made last year. Its called Chickamauga and is "inspired by the events at Tri-State Crematory in Noble, Ga." I served as production assistant for the shoot and, I have to say, being on the set was a surreal experience and is something I will never forget. I was the same age as the main character when these events made national news.

As for the film, I believe it turned out spectacular. It is akin to Gus Van Sant on his better days (think Paranoid Park and not that Psycho remake). The imdb for it is http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1258223/ and the film itself can be found at http://www.vimeo.com/955252. It has recently been accepted to the Rome International film festival. I encourage you to check it out!

Now to the third order of business. I would like to bring your attention to a movie that is the polar opposite of Chickamauga. In fact, I have not thought about it since my friend Matt Brandenburgh and I watched it late one night our freshmen year, but somehow I remembered it for this entry. It is called Torque, and it is awful. Really awful. Ass-numbingly awful. Watching this flick is like getting an ice cream headache for 84 minutes. Its like drinking a vinegar milkshake. Would you like proof? Check this out: http://youtube.com/watch?v=PPWoz7WTmjU .

Also, I need to do a special shout out to my buddy Ellis Liddell. He is turning 21 on July 31st and I think that’s reason enough to celebrate. Now, if you don’t know this man, then it’s a shame. He is a legend, a myth. In his honor, I have taken twenty-one Chuck Norris jokes and have replaced the name with his.

1. If Ellis has five dollars, and you have five dollars, Ellis has more money.

2. Apple pays Ellis ninety-nine cents every time Ellis listens to a song.

3. Ellis can kill two stones with one bird.

4. Ellis destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

5. Ellis can slam a revolving door.

6. Ellis can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

7. Ellis does not get frostbite. Ellis bites frost.

8. Outer space exists because it is scared to be on the same planet as Ellis.

9. Ellis can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.

10. Ellis counted to infinity... twice.

11. Ellis is the reason Waldo is hiding.

12. Ellis is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

13. Ellis doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

14. There is no "ctrl" button on Ellis’s computer. Ellis is always in control.

15. Ellis is a stunt double for Optimus Prime.

16. Ellis understands the ending to 2001: A Space Odyssey

17. Ellis beat the sun in a staring contest.

18. Ellis CAN lick his elbow.

19. Ellis puts the FUN in funeral.

20. Ellis can strike a match on a bar of soap.

21. Ellis’s smile once brought a puppy back to life.

And one to grow on...

22. When Ellis picks his nose, he really does find gold.

Moving on to my fifth order of business... The other day I was walking back from the dining hall, and I saw a squirrel digging through a trash can. After a moment of digging, he pulled out a french fry and ate it. Now I don’t know why, but I thought a squirrel eating a french fry was the funniest damn thing I had ever seen in my life. I can’t explain it, but I laughed for a good five minutes and stood there until he finished it. For some reason, I don’t think an onion ring would have been as funny.

Okay, as always ("always" meaning "both times"), here are some youtube videos I’m really digging this week.

1. The Von Blondies performing "C’mon, c’mon" on Letterman
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Px6zUe3y7c8&feature=related

2. A different song by that Chocolate Rain guy
http://youtube.com/watch?v=9mSKBgvHdoE&feature=user

3. Watchmen trailer (awesome)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=R3orQKBxiEg

4. Music video for The Killers’ "Read My Mind"
http://youtube.com/watch?v=3Oec8RuwVVs

5. A Coca-Cola commercial featuring Jack White
http://youtube.com/watch?v=vKGw_KYH63k

Okay, that’s all from Flippo for The Weekly Flippo this week. Come back next week as I talk about the trip home and whatever else crosses (or runs parallel to) my mind.

Flippo

Begin To Begin

Hello out there to users of "the Internet." Flippo here. For those of you bored enough to come by the Weekly Flippo, I welcome you. For those of you who are actually excited about stopping by, I encourage you to adjust your expectations accordingly.

I’ve been in Los Angeles for what I believe is my fifth week and, for the most part, I have found it to be an enjoyable experience. My internship with Double Feature films has offered me plenty of experiences and, as a direct result, plenty of cool stories I can tell (and some I can’t).

Based on my whopping five weeks here in Los Angeles, I have compiled what I believe to be a pretty decent overview of the Los Angeles hierarchy.

1. Movie stars (like Pitt, Clooney, and Wall-E)

2. Movie producers

3. Directors

4.Agents.

5. Various production staffers

6. Freelancers


7. Assistants

8. Waiters

9. Teenager at Carl’s Jr.

10. Guy asking for change

11. Writers

12. Film students

13. Some sort of bug

14. Interns (like me)


Okay, next order of business. The Dark Knight was amazing. There is no way around it. Ledger was great, the writing was flawless, and Nolan was at the top of his game. From now on, I’m using this film to find out which women I want o date. Sorry, ladies. If you’re not a fan of The Dark Knight, well, you’re just not the woman for Chris Flippo.


Here are some youtube videos I'm digging this week.

1. The Hold Steady on Letterman
http://youtube.com/watch?v=r7RO0y1-ZAE

2. Pineapple Express trailer
http://youtube.com/watch?v=JaybezvhhBQ&feature=related

3. House of 1000 Muppets
http://youtube.com/watch?v=HucERcMMuys

4. Kermit the Frog sings "Once In A Lifetime"
http://youtube.com/watch?v=-jbya4kxC6E

And with that, I leave you to wander around aimlessly in that great void that we call "everywhere else." I hope you come back next week. If not, well, you get what you paid for.

Flippo